Books! Books!

So, I began with "Mrs D is Going Without: I used to be a boozy housewife. Now I'm not. This is my book." by Lotta Dann. So glad I found this book. It pushed me over the edge and gave me confidence to quit drinking alcohol forever. Not just moderate (which I couldn't do anyway), not just abstain for a few months (which I'd done with my pregnancies, only to jump right back into the bottle afterwards). I love her and owe her a great debt.

Then, "A Drinking Life: A Memoir" by Pete Hamill. Fantastic storytelling. Very densely packed with imagery and memorable stories. The first 95% of the book is about his life before he quit drinking. I have to admit, I got antsy to get to the part where he gave it up for good. The final 5%, where he discusses what happens, is amazing. I'm so glad I read this. The analogy of "I realized that for years I'd been squeezing my talent out of a toothpaste tube. I'd misused it and abused it and failed to replenish it with deep reading and full consciousness." Pure gold.

Currently, "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. One of those books where, on my Kindle, I've only read up to chapter 3, yet I've highlighted 75% of the text already. Her methods and background differ, but when she speaks of the "greediness" one feels when the wine is out...
Oh shit. Shit. I am completely relating to this woman and decide to look her up online to see what she's up to. She freaking died. In 2002. Of lung cancer. In the beginning of "Drinking" she relates how her father died of cancer, how he smoked, how she smokes...shit. I feel so bad. Dang.

and

"Kick the Drink...Easily!" by Jason Vale. I've just started this, but already found something of a gem, "I feel elated to be free from what was a constant struggle to gain control. I feel so relieved to be mentally and physically free."
Yes. That is how I feel. The knot of anxiety is missing from my chest. I'm not thinking about what to drink, how much, should I moderate, are people I'm with aware of just how much I've drank, is there enough for me to have another glass, etc. I feel relieved. That is definitely the best word for how I feel. I love how he writes, "free from the constant struggle to gain control." I'm all about control. And, drinking was an uncontrollable thing, a huge effort to even try to control.